yesterday

Okay, so there's been blog silence for weeks now. Mostly because things have been busy - filled with a lot of a lot of holiday hustle and bustle and because we were blessed to have a lot of family visit over Thanksgiving and Christmas. And my sister and her fam also moved to Minnesota at the end of November which also added an extra layer of emotion and craziness. 

But if I'm honest, there's also been silence because December, in particular, has had me very nostalgic. Because it was this time last year that I had a dream. A dream that stuck in my mind, that bothered me. You see, I believe that God can work and speak through dreams but that it's not especially common, and so even now, I don't want to assume meaning. But I do feel compelled to tell the story and so here goes:

I was on a plane. For some reason I was helping to clean off tray tables, even though I was a passenger and not a flight attendant. The pilot came on and said we were getting ready to land and so I sat down and the lady next to me, who was very nervous, asked me if she should put her seat belt on. I said yes, it could get bumpy. And that's when the plane began to free fall. I felt panicked and there was lots of screaming. A few moments later the plane righted itself and there was a moment of relief, until it started to plummet again. I was panicked again for a moment but started to pray, thinking this was it, and immediately felt an undeniable peace, amidst the free fall. 

And that's when I woke up. And oh, did that dream bother me, like what in the world could this mean? And since I couldn't shake the dream, I decided to write it down in my journal - as a way to remember what it was, but also as a way to be done with it - to give it to God and dwell or worry about what it did or didn't mean. 

Fast forward about a month later in January, when my precious son, Ethan was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. And one of the first things I thought of that day in the Emergency Room at St. Louis Children's Hospital, was that dream. Because it was exactly how I felt --- like I was in a sustained freefall. The world as I knew it was crashing, and yet I was still being upheld and sustained. There was peace even amidst the chaos. 

And really, that describes the first few months of this year - chaos. Despair. Lots of crashing. And yet, so very much sustained by the Holy Spirit. I've gone back to read some of those early blog posts and can sense even now, God's very real presence and the assurance that I had that He was in control. That He was faithful. That He was sovereign.

And now, here we are, over 11 months from that day, and a new year just on the horizon. And I've been struggling with this tension between the joy and blessing and thankfulness of being where we are --- that Ethan is in remission and doing WELL, that his joy continues to abound, that our life isn't as dictated by the hospital as it was for so much of this year --- and the raw reality that pediatric cancer sucks and has forever changed our lives. That we are blessed to be where we are and yet cancer still happened. And because it happened, everything changed. For Ethan, and for our whole family.

Which brings me to yesterday morning. I picked up My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers to read the day's devotional and skipped ahead to read the entry for December 31st, the last day of this unbelievable year.

And there it was, the word:  

Yesterday.

"At the end of the year we turn with eagerness to all that God has for the future, and yet anxiety is apt to arise when we remember our yesterdays....

But God is the God of our yesterdays."

Oh you guys, what a truth that went straight to my heart. Because for me, especially lately, anxieties will begin to surface not when I think directly about the future, but when I think about the past. About what's happened -- leukemia. Chemotherapy. Radiation. That the treatment that saved Ethan's life can also have life-changing effects now and in the future. That the year we've had has wounded all of us.

And so, as has been such a theme this year - God is continually reminding me of his sovereignty, right when I need it. And what a truth to cling to -- and one that I will continually need to cling to -- today, tomorrow, next year and all the years to come. God is not only sovereign over the future, but the past. His sovereignty extends to cover Ethan (and all of our) entire stories -- past, present and future.  And that includes this entire year of trial - beginning, middle and end.

2014 was a life-changing year in every single area, and we end it so much different than when we began. I don't understand it, we haven't recovered from it, there are life-altering changing implications from it -- and yet God has shown himself to be real this year, in a way that I've never experienced before, and for that, I'm thankful. We have been sustained, even when our world came crashing down. 

"For you shall not go out in haste,

and you not go in flight,

for the LORD will go before you,

and the God of Israel will be your rear guard."

Isaiah 52:12 

snowfall

On Saturday we had our first snow in St. Louis. All day Ethan kept asking me when it would snow. All. Day. Now mom? Okay, now? I told him that it wasn't supposed to snow until supper time and so once we sat down for supper - Mom? Why isn't it snowing? Where is the snow? It was hard to explain to my precious 4 year old that unfortunately, snow can't just be "scheduled."

But then, maybe an hour after supper, the flakes began to fall from the sky. And oh, the delight!

All day he had waited for the snow and when it came, it didn't disappoint in the slightest. We bundled up and sat on our front porch and watched it come to the ground. Ethan wanted to build a snowman and go sledding, but of course there wasn't enough snow falling to make that happen. So we smiled and sat and watched and sang (Let it Snow, naturally). I even busted out with a little Snow! from White Christmas (my kids don't know this one yet, but they will, all in good time. :) )

It was a moment to drink in really. And cherish. And also a reminder of where we are - the blessing of where we are. At the beginning of this whole thing, I wondered if we would have excitement again, delight. Would we enjoy the holidays, dance, sing!? In the smog of the first few months it was hard to see beyond the turmoil to think there would be joy beyond all of this.

Ethan is 10 months into treatment now. 10 months. With 2.5 years to go. We've been blessed to turn a corner and be in this less intensive stage of Maintenance now. And it's been just as his team said it would be - so much better. We made it through the first month of Maintenance without any ER visits or issues and Ethan went to preschool pretty much every day of this last month. He just had his second monthly chemo visit this past Wednesday and things look good. His counts are up, and he feels good and stronger.

The delight of that first snow on Saturday night was such a joy to all of our hearts. A reminder of the blessing of remission - that we get to experience precious moments like this. That the cancer is gone. The chemo is working. Ethan's joy and exuberance are still present. And sweet Eloise is as precious as ever. God has carried us from the darkness of winter - where this all began last January, to the beauty of this new winter season. There are still challenges and pain in this, to be sure, but what a blessing to be able to take a moment and just revel in the beauty of His creation and His provision.

Thank you Jesus, for SNOW.

maintenance!

Today was Wednesday and we didn't go to the hospital. And not because we are on hold and waiting. But because we didn't have to!

You guys, Ethan is now in Maintenance!

Last Wednesday (Oct 15th) was Day 1 of Ethan's first cycle in Maintenance. This phase will last for the next two and a half years. Each cycle is 84 days and will repeat until his last day on May 28th, 2017 (which will also be our sweet Eloise's fifth birthday :) ).

Ethan wasn't quite as excited about taking a picture to celebrate the day. :)

He was, however, excited about the elevator, per usual.

So, our schedule changes a little bit now. Ethan will still be getting chemo throughout the next two and a half years --- but instead of IV chemo every week at the hospital, he now will go once a month for IV chemo and once every 3 months for intrathecal chemo. He will have to take some oral chemo at home and steroids, along with his other meds.

The purpose of this phase is to maintain his remission. The last 9 months were meant to wipe out any cancer cells hiding throughout his blood and so the chemotherapy was very intensive and purposeful to knock down his counts. Now, the goal is to keep his counts within a range above 500 (the threshold for neutropenia) and below 1500. If his counts go to high or too low, his chemo doses will be adjusted accordingly.

It's been a blessing to already get to take advantage of higher counts and Ethan feeling better. He's gotten a chance to go to school every day this week so far.

We've been enjoying the sunshine.

We've been going to the park.

I mean, could this girl look any sweeter with those hands clasped so tightly? She did this every single time she went down the big twirly slide.

Today they wanted to sit in their chairs and look at the stars (in the middle of the afternoon). :)

And, Pete and I our 3 friends (Kelly, Matt & Kristian) who have been training and fundraising together -- ran our half marathon on Sunday morning! What an honor it was to run for Ethan! It was a beautiful morning to run and heavy on my heart the entire race the reason for running. Thank you again to everyone who helped us to reach our fundraising goal for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society!

We were blessed to have the BEST cheerleaders!

So, Maintenance is here. This phase seemed so far away when we first started this whole journey, and now, we are in it. Oh, thank you Jesus! And thank you faithful army, for your continued prayers for Ethan and our family. This race we are running isn't over, but it sure feels good to be at this stage.

grateful

So we've had a busy couple of weeks. Lots of celebrations and just a lot going on. About a week and a half ago Ethan had the last IV chemo treatment for Delayed Intensification and we've been on a "break" from chemo, finishing up this phase while his counts recover from the big gun chemo he's received this phase.

In the mean time, we've also gotten to do some celebrating! We can't say a big enough thank you to everyone who came out to walk with us at Light the Night! Ethan had such a blast - it was an absolute joy to see him running and playing and laughing, surrounded by so many that love him so much!

We had a team of almost 50 here in St. Louis and at the Minnesota Light the Night, a team of around 20, and Ethan even got to have his picture up on the big screen!

Our Team Ethan Ice Cream Social Fundraiser was the morning after Light the Night and was also a huge success!

In summary - thank you! Truly, we are so grateful for such love and support - these last few weeks especially have just been filled with a lot of celebrating and we are just so thankful.


Thankful also for how much money we've been able to raise for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Team Ethan Minnesota has raised over $10,000 and our fundraising efforts here in St. Louis have raised nearly $7,000 when you combine our Light the Night and Team in Training donations together. Combined - that's almost $17,000 you guys.

Thank you to everyone who has contributed to that number. For those who contributed large and small - $10 and $25 and $50 and $100. For those who don't even know us but sent us a check. For TPAC Underwriters in Minneapolis, where my Uncle Rob works, who made a $10,000 donation, which left me in absolute happy, speechless, tears. For the people who spent $10 (or more) to get some ice cream at our fundraiser last weekend. Truly, you all have left me speechless and I'm so thankful that we can make such a significant contribution to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

As for what's next for Ethan -- he had his pre-chemo labs done today that he needed for the first day of Maintenance that was supposed to start on Wednesday (10/8), but his labs came back showing that he is still neutropenic (he was last week as well) and so things are on hold until next week. He'll have labs checked again on Monday 10/13 and as long as his ANC is 750 or higher, he will get to start Maintenance on Wednesday 10/15. Please pray that his counts continue to recover and that we all stay healthy!

celebrations this weekend

We are getting SO excited!!! Ethan is nearing the end of this phase of chemo and has one more chemo treatment this Wednesday (09/24) before we get a week off and then get to start Maintenance. Ethan's had a lot of energy and so has been able to go to school and church a little more frequently - it has been just wonderful.

Coinciding with the end of this most intensive time of treatment is Light The Night Walk at Forest Park in St. Louis THIS Saturday September 27th. We have a team of 37 signed up to walk with Ethan and us in celebration of Ethan and solidarity with thousands of others who have been impacted by blood cancers. There is still time to sign up and join us on Saturday. Final details for the event will be sent out this week by our Team Captain Auntie Lindsay. Just click on this link to find our Team Ethan page and then click "Join" at the bottom of the screen to get signed up.
http://pages.lightthenight.org/gat/StLouis14/TeamEthan

We've got a team of 10 walking with Team Ethan's Minnesota at the Light the Night Walk at Target Field THIS Sunday September 28th. If you'd still like to join their team, click here: http://pages.lightthenight.org/mn/TwinCiti14/TeamEthanMinnesota

In summary, you guys, I am super pumped. We've got nearly 50 people in 2 states that are celebrating Ethan and helping to raise awareness and money for blood cancer research. It's simply amazing and I am so thankful for all of you!!!

To cap off our weekend, we've got an Ice Cream Social Fundraiser for Team Ethan THIS SUNDAY September 28th from 11am to 1pm at Tower Grove Creamery. We are on the final leg of fundraising for Team in Training and are really excited for an afternoon of ice cream! Suggested donation is $10/person and all proceeds will go to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Please join us if you can!

a new week

Fall has pushed into St. Louis rather abruptly. I think it was just 90 degree weather like a week ago and the last few days we've been in the 60s. A reminder that even though the days are long, this year has gone by quickly, and here we are already in the middle of September.

We made it through last week's 4 days of IV chemo at home. Ethan's labs on Friday came back showing that his hemoglobin was low and so he had a blood transfusion on Friday afternoon. He started to have a low grade fever by the end of the transfusion and so as a precaution he also had cultures drawn and a 24 hour antibiotic given before we left the clinic, in case his fever continued. Thankfully it subsided by the morning and so we haven't had to make any more trips to the hospital this weekend!

Here's my boy waiting at the clinic before his blood transfusion

We got a chance to see Auntie and Ella and Noah on Friday morning before we headed to the hospital, which was good for ALL of us!

And, since Ethan's been feeling pretty good overall this weekend, we also went to church this morning. The highlight for the kiddos is always getting donuts after the service. :)

This week Ethan has chemo at the clinic on Wednesday morning. He is scheduled to have 2 IV chemo infusions, with one being the higher-risk for an allergic reaction. Please pray for protection over him.

You guys, we have 2 more weeks of chemo for this phase, and then a week or two off before we start Maintenance. I can't believe we've come this far! Thank you Jesus!

ba-bye cancer cells

Last night when I was tucking Ethan into bed we got to talking about today's plan at the hospital - getting the sleepy medicine and chemo and having to keep his "tubie" in when we go home so I can give him his chemo the rest of this week. As a typical 4 year old - he was curious to know if I've had sleepy medicine before. Yes, I told him. And a tubie? Yep, I've had one in my arm, buddy. And mommy, you've had chemo too?

Oh.

You see, we've had the sleepy medicine and tubie conversation lots of times before on our journey here, but Ethan's never asked me if I've had chemo before. So, it caused me to pause -- oh the heartache for my boy who's had to endure so much; at the age of 4 having to battle cancer and endure this chemotherapy.

And yet it was a great question and we had a short conversation about why chemo is important and that not everyone gets cancer but when you do, chemo is a good medicine to help get rid of all the yucky cancer cells. In Ethan's words - chemo says ba-bye cancer cells!

Ba-bye cancer cells indeed. My 4 year old reminding me why this chemo is important. We're in the thick of this rough chemo phase and the days are long, with a lot of ups and downs, and side effects. I ran into another mom at the hospital last week whose child is in the same phase as Ethan and she was like "Is delayed intensification kicking your butt or what?" YES! Holy cow it is! Ethan's team prepared us for this and it's proven to be true. Things aren't quite as intense as the first few months of treatment but pretty close. And it makes sense - the chemo drugs he's receiving this round are heavy-hitting and meant to get rid of any lingering hidden cancer cells. In summary: it's rough.

Today we start another 4 day round of IV chemo. We are heading to the clinic shortly for chemo and for his sedation for intrathecal chemo. We've also got about another week left of his oral chemo that he's been taking at home. Ethan will also be getting labs checked a little more often over the next week, because the chemo he's getting can impact his blood counts and possibly require blood or platelet transfusions.

So, as you've done so faithfully thus far, please pray for our boy. Please pray for his spirit - that his joy would remain. Please pray for comfort from the effects of chemo and all of this. Pray for us as caregivers - for patience and endurance. Pray for Eloise and her sweet spirit.

Thank you for lifting us up, faithful army. We are so grateful for you!

ER and the week ahead

Yesterday morning we had a *short* 5-hour visit to the ER because Ethan spiked a fever when he woke up at 5am. I say short because thankfully, we didn't have to be admitted! He has been fighting cold symptoms since last Wednesday and so it was no surprise that he tested positive for a virus. Last week Ethan's counts were slightly under 500; yesterday at the ER his labs came back showing his counts improved to around 3500. Since he wasn't neutropenic, we were able to go home after getting a dose of a 24 hour coverage antibiotic.

And really, he's had a lot of energy throughout this virus, which is something to really be thankful for. Because he made the pre-chemo goal of 750 for blood counts, we will resume treatment and get started with chemo tomorrow - Day 29 of this phase.

So, what that means is a long day at the hospital tomorrow (Wednesday 9/3). He receives 2 chemo drugs tomorrow, with one requiring both pre and post hydration to protect his kidneys from being damaged. He is also scheduled to have intrathecal chemo tomorrow as well, but since he still has a small lingering cough from his cold, his team will make the final decision tomorrow on whether he will be sedated or not once they get a chance to examine him.

In addition to tomorrow's chemo at the clinic, he will have IV chemo at home on Thursday, Friday and Saturday and also start a 14 day dose of an oral chemo at home. Next week will be a similar regimen. Now that we are able to resume his treatment he will not have to make any "blood count goals" until we start the next phase. There are 4 weeks of chemo ahead and two weeks to recover before we start Maintenance.

As you can see, there is a lot ahead for Ethan in the coming weeks. Please continue to pray for our precious boy - for stamina and strength. For protection against the harsh effects of chemotherapy. For that joy of his to remain. This feels like a bit of a "home stretch" before we get to the next phase and we need your prayers for strength and endurance.

september

September is Pediatric Cancer Awareness month. Last year, like so many - I had no idea that September put the spotlight on kids who are battling such a horrific giant like cancer. And this year, here we are with pediatric cancer now a permanent part of our story.

Since it is now a part of our story, we want to do what we can to support and raise awareness. Pediatric cancer historically only receives 4% of the government funding for cancer research --- only 4%, when it is the #1 cause of death for children under the age of 15 in the U.S. Two thirds of all childhood cancer survivors will suffer from long term late effects from treatment. It's brutal.  (sources: http://www.alexslemonade.org/childhood-cancer-facts; http://www.stbaldricks.org/about-childhood-cancer)

• Join our Team Ethan and walk with us at Light the Night in St. Louis OR Minneapolis!
• St. Louis Walk on Saturday September 27th in Forest Park, with my sister Lindsay as Team Captain:  http://pages.lightthenight.org/gat/StLouis14/TeamEthan

• Minneapolis Walk on Sunday September 28th at Target Field - my cousin Grace is Team Captain: http://pages.lightthenight.org/mn/TwinCiti14/TeamEthanMinnesota

• Make a donation to our Team in Training fundraising page for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Our goal is $5500 and we are about 20% there, with just the month of September left to raise funds. Every single dollar makes a difference you guys. $1, $5, $20 --- and up. Please consider making a donation  - you can do so securely on our Team in Training page here: http://pages.teamintraining.org/gat/rnrstlou14/teamethan

• Most of you know that my husband Pete owns his own business - Big Town Tickets. During the month of September, 10% of all profit made on sales directly from the Big Town Tickets website will be donated to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Nationwide tickets to concerts, sporting events, etc in all major cities are available for purchase - so check out the website and get your tickets with Big Town Tickets! http://www.bigtowntickets.com/

low counts

You know you live in a strange world when you are disappointed that chemo is put on hold. But, that's where we find ourselves this week. Ethan had his pre-chemo labs on Monday and it turns out that he is slightly neutropenic with counts just below 500 - and definitely below the goal he needed to make of 750 to start chemo this week.

So, as we've done before, chemo has been put on hold until next week. He'll have labs on Tuesday and if he makes the 750 goal, he will start chemo on Wednesday 9/3. Once he starts, he won't have to make goal again until the start of the next phase. Which means his counts will likely go down again over the next few weeks with the heavy-hitting chemotherapy he will be receiving.

Please pray that Ethan's body continues to recover and make healthy white blood cells. He also started a slight runny nose today --- please pray for healing if it does happen to be a virus starting. Chemo next week (if he makes goal) includes sedation for intrathecal chemo so it's important that he is as healthy as can be for that.

Oh, and seriously, this is how my sweet babes roll these days, guys. Ethan is determined to help Eloise up and down the stairs and you can't believe how much she beams holding her big brother's hand!

oh how he loves us

As I expected, this has been a tough week. It was the 3rd round of chemo for this cycle and the side effects hit Ethan pretty hard. We met with several new specialists to talk about different side effects from chemo that we've noticed. All in all, just a week where the heaviness of cancer and chemo are present and staring us in the face.

Last night I was tucking Ethan into bed, and we ended as we usually do by singing Amazing Grace. And as we sang I was struck by that simple phrase - Amazing Grace. Because gosh, has that phrase been the bedrock of this whole thing. The hard days, the easy days, the happy, the sad. God's grace has been sustaining Ethan and all of us moment by moment, from one day to the next. And that includes these weeks that are harder than others.

One of my biggest prayers from the very start of this whole journey was that Ethan's joy and exuberant, delightful spirit would remain intact. And, by God's grace, it has - with today as a prime example. After a fairly rough week, Ethan woke up feeling better and well enough that we felt comfortable sending him to orientation at school this morning. He was so excited!

And that joyful exuberance? On the way home from school one of our favorite David Crowder songs came on the radio and from the back, there was my precious son belting it out. My precious son who God is carrying through this trial and giving him the joy to still SING!

Thank you God for your grace. For your faithfulness. For joy, even in the depths.

pressing on

One day a time, one treatment at a time. Sometimes one moment at a time. It's how this chemo thing goes, and how we've been taking the last couple of weeks of this new phase. Despite the ups and downs and side effects, Ethan really has kept his joyful spirit --- something I'm so thankful for. And he sure looks handsome in his button down. :) Sure do love my boy.

Last week on chemo day we also had labs done and learned that Ethan's in a good range so far, with his ANC being over 3000. So, as Ethan's felt up to it, we've gone out and about here and there. Last night we took Great Grandma Dolores out for dinner, which was a real treat.

And in case you were wondering, Eloise is most definitely still in pink, people. This pink phase is no joke. How I love this girl!

This week we've got a few things on our schedule. We've got chemo and labs on Wednesday (Aug 13th - Day 15 of this phase) and we also are going to have consults with Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy for some side effects that we've started to notice. Once we get through this week's chemo, Ethan will have a week off from chemo, and is scheduled for his next chemo on Wed August 27th.

With all that said, I've got a few prayer requests:

• We've been beyond blessed to have my mom/Grandma Sheila back to help us carry the load here, and couldn't be more thankful for all that she is doing to help. Please pray for strength, stamina, and patience for all of us as we take each day as it comes. 
• Please continue to pray for protection for Ethan from the effects of chemo. 
• Please pray for discernment for our PT and OT appointments - for the team and for us as we figure out if we need to schedule regular physical and or occupational therapy going forward. 
• Please also pray for discernment as parents regarding school. Ethan's preschool is scheduled to begin on August 18th and we are able to send him if his counts are okay and he's feeling good - but of course it's scary to send him too, since I can't be there to make sure he's okay! Please pray for discernment for us to make decisions about when to send Ethan, and for Ethan's transition back to the school environment. It will likely be sporadic for the next month or two and then hopefully transition to a more regular thing once we get to Maintenance in October. 

Thanks for praying, guys. 

fundraising for LLS and team ethan t-shirts!

When Ethan was first diagnosed with leukemia in January a friend recommended the book The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer by Siddhartha Mukherjee. It's a book about the history of cancer and the evolution of treatment and survival over the years - written in narrative story form that makes it easy to understand and grasp.

Only a few pages in to the book and I was confronted with this:

"Leukemia is cancer of the white blood cells - cancer in one of its most explosive, violent incarnations...(It) represents a special incarnation of cancer. Its pace, its acuity, its breathtaking, inexorable arc of growth forces rapid, often drastic decisions; it is terrifying to experience, terrifying to observe, and terrifying to treat. The body invaded by leukemia is pushed to its brittle physiological limit --- every system, heart, lung, blood, working at the knife-edge of its performance." (p. 3)

Take another moment and read that description of the cancer that our son was diagnosed with at the tender age of 3.

It takes your breath away right?

We lived that description in the midst of this past winter: one day we were at the pediatrician getting a a snotty nose checked and the next day we were summoned to the ER and quickly admitted to the hospital to begin a life filled with chemotherapy, blood counts, transfusions, sedations, radiation, and everything else that cancer brings. There was no transition; it was immediate treatment and a complete change in pretty much every aspect of our lives. 

And though it can be easy to feel like we are alone in this, we are not. There are countless other babies, kids, and adults diagnosed with blood cancers all throughout our city and the world. And the more I've learned about leukemia and chemotherapy, the more thankful I have become for the work that has come before us - the research, and funding, and advances in treatments.

Which leads me to my point, really, my question. As I've mentioned previously,  there are a couple of opportunities coming up this Fall that Pete and I are excited about supporting and being a part of -  #1: Light the Night Walk on September 27th and #2: fundraising for LLS through Team in Training.

Today's post is focused on our fundraising with Team in Training. We have a team assembled that includes myself, Pete and a few of our friends - all training for the Rock N Roll Half Marathon in St. Louis on October 19th. And although we are excited about the half marathon, we are even more excited about the opportunity to help raise money for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society to help other people and families who are currently in this same fight or will be in the future

So, the question: Will you consider making a donation to our team and help us to reach our goal?

You can visit our Team Ethan fundraising website and make a secure credit card donation to our team right on our Team in Training - Team Ethan page, or you can also send a check made out to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, and mail it to our address. (If you need our address, send me a message on FB).

Team in Training Website: http://pages.teamintraining.org/gat/rnrstlou14/teamethan

As part of our fundraising efforts we are also re-launching our Team Ethan t-shirt campaign. We've had quite a few people ask us about t-shirts who weren't able to order the first time and so if you didn't get a chance to order a t-shirt and want one - please order one! The t-shirt campaign will be open until August 20th, and then t-shirts will be shipped out within a week or two after that. All funds raised will go toward our fundraising goal for LLS.

To order a t-shirt, click here: https://www.booster.com/teamethanweseloh


If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask! Thank you so much for your support!

more chemo

Well, Delayed Intensification is underway. Tuesday's chemo and sedation all went very well. In typical exuberant Ethan-fashion, he went sprinting down the hallway at the hospital on Tuesday to get to the elevator. Who has time for a mom just wanting to capture the moment?

Taking a look at the "forest" while we waited to meet with his team.

We've got another chemo day tomorrow (Friday 8/1) - this time Ethan will be receiving the chemo that can often cause an allergic reaction, so prayers to cover his treatment tomorrow are appreciated. After tomorrow his next chemo treatment will be on Wednesday (8/6).

So, we are back in the swing of all that chemo brings. Tonight we had a chance to go visit Ethan's school and meet his new teacher and assistant teacher that he will have this year. School starts August 18th, but we will have to play it by ear to see when Ethan is ready to go back. I was really thankful to have some time tonight for Ethan to meet his teacher and revisit his classroom, since he was only able to spend a handful of days in school since January.

Oh, and some really great news?

Grandma Sheila will be back tomorrow. Tomorrow! This has been the longest stretch we've gone (2 months) without a live-in grandma and so we are thrilled that my mom is back tomorrow to stay for a while.

Thanks for all of your continued prayers for Ethan and all of us!

chemo tomorrow

Monday labs are in and are much improved - Ethan's ANC is over 2200, way above the minimum goal of 750 to get started with chemo this week.

So, it's here - Delayed Intensification, the last rough phase of chemo before we get to Maintenance. His team scheduled chemo for tomorrow (Tues 7/29) - one day early due to schedule availability for his sedation. Ethan is scheduled to have 2 IV chemos at 8:30 tomorrow morning and then will be sedated for intrathecal chemo at 10:30.

And so, faithful army, we ask you once again to pray for our dearest, most exuberant son. Please pray for protection over tomorrow's chemo and sedation - both from short term side effects and long term as well. Please pray that this final trickle of snot of his is GONE tomorrow. Please pray for strength and stamina for all of us as we weather this next phase.

chemo on hold

Ethan had his pre-chemo labs done today and it turns out that his counts have actually gone down from last week and he didn't make the ANC goal of 750 that he needed to to start this next round on Wednesday. On top of that, he does have this runny nose/virus going on which could also possibly be contributing to his counts.

So, we are on hold until next week. He will have his labs checked again next Monday 7/28 and as long as he makes the 750 goal he will start Delayed Intensification on Wed 7/30.

Please pray that in between now and then, Ethan's runny nose/virus is healed! Eloise is coming down with it now too - naturally, so pray this passes quickly for everyone. Please also pray that his counts recover and that he makes goal to start chemo next Wednesday.

big week ahead

This week on Wednesday (July 23rd) Ethan is scheduled to start his next phase of chemo called Delayed Intensification.

Thankfully, we've had a chance to get out and enjoy summer a bit before this next round starts.

Ethan and Eloise got to have a special movie night with our friend Kelly while Pete and I got a date night out. 

Eloise has continued to be very particular about her clothing - we've started a very intense PINK phase - it has been days since she has worn a different color. Here she is in her swimsuit that she wore for 2 days straight. 

Last week we survived having Pete gone for 4 days on a business trip to Minnesota.

On top of Pete being out of town for the first part of last week, I ended up coming down with some pretty horrible stomach pain for a few days that I ended up going to the ER for on Thursday night. It ended up being something called gastritis (inflammation of the stomach lining) and after a few days on a few antacids I am definitely on the upswing.

Which brings me to the week ahead. As I've mentioned several times now, this phase of chemo could be rough. A lot like what the first couple of months were like - low counts, side effects, increased risk for infections, etc.

So, I've got a couple specific prayer requests for you as we start this new week and new phase:

1. Please pray for Ethan - protection for his body from the harsh effects of chemo both short and long term. Ethan also started a runny nose on Friday night that is still here - can you please pray that this illness will be healed quickly? Please also pray protection over Wednesday's chemo and scheduled sedation for intrathecal chemo.

2. Please also pray for me - my stomach issue last week was pretty rotten and I'm thankful that I'm on the upswing, but please pray that my stomach will heal.

3. Please pray for strength for this next round, for Ethan and for all of us.


Thank you all so much for continuing on this journey with us.